Friday, February 14, 2025

The journey of a misfit through the corporate world

Introduction

This article describes the journey of a misfit in the corporate world. The writer of this article, who is the protagonist, made a lot of mistakes in the corporate world like making wrong/ mistimed job changes, making the same mistakes in job changes again and again, not doing enough background checks, not taking cues from the background check results, changing the job when the mind told there were some issues, changing the job without a salary hike, coming back to a company, not doing enough things to make yourself and the team visible in the corporate world and not going with the flow.

If you would like to know the details, please read on. It might tell you what not to do to succeed in the corporate world!

The first mistake

Though my first company was Gopinath Engg. Co. P. Ltd, in Mumbai, my first big corporate job was with NeST Information technologies P. Ltd. In fact, I enjoyed my tenure with them. A desire to see the corporate world outside and the peer pressure of colleagues jumping the job, made me to switch the job. That was the first mistake; jumping the job when you were comfortable with a job.

The second mistake

I joined HCL and I enjoyed my tenure, there too, for the first two years. I joined a team, named Penstock, which was the product development division of HCL and within a year, they made me the quality in charge of the division and recruited two more people and expanded the team. I was enjoying the tenure, when that division was closed down and the quality team was moved to another division. Since my job level was not that of a manager, I was moved to the role of a quality engineer in the new team. From the position of a leader, I became an ordinary team member.

I was feeling disillusioned with the corporate world from that time of 2009 itself. Since that was too early to leave the job, I somehow hung on. I was doing the same routine job of a quality engineer and was looking for a change from that though I was getting good feedbacks about my performance.

That is when I got the opportunity to head the quality department of JSoft, the IT division of JSW group. I knew that I would be the only member in the team and that they worked on the 1st, 3rd and 5th Saturdays. A class mate of mine, who knew about the company told me that I might not enjoy the job. Still, in my eagerness to change the job, I joined them, though I was a bit apprehensive about these points. That was the second mistake; not continuing in the place where you were getting good feedbacks, not taking cues from the background check results and jumping when you felt a bit apprehensive. Further, on the last working day at HCL, the HR told me during the exit formalities that I was welcome to come back. I felt bad to leave a company like HCL. In hindsight, I can tell that, my tenures with NeST and HCL were the ones which I enjoyed the most.

Though JSoft was part of a big group like JSW and had plans to become a force in the IT field, it didn’t succeed and I was feeling that it was the time to move out. Further, I was not liking the one man show and working on Saturdays. At that time, I got an offer from Infosys. I have mentioned about these career moves in the blog posts 'Ssstammering and my lifeand 'How to deal with stammering (A sequel to Ssstammering and my life)' though these posts were about how I dealt with my stammering and not about my corporate life.

The third mistake

The designation at Infosys was Quality Assurance Manager and the job leave (JL) was 5. When the interview happened and the offer letter was issued, I was under the impression that, it would be a managerial role. I had enquired with a class mate of mine about that role before joining. Though he told that JL5 was not a managerial role, he told it might be that in the quality department JL5 is a managerial role. Anyway, I decided to join as I was desperate for a change and Infosys as a brand name attracted me. In reality, it was a regular quality engineer role but with a fancy designation attached to that. Though in hindsight the jump was good as JSoft was closed down after one or two years, I think, I should have waited for some more tome for a better role, as I again came back to the role of a quality engineer which I was not enjoying. This was the third mistake; not doing a proper background check and joining a company only for its brand name.

The struggle with the corporate world starts

I was given around 35 projects to support as a quality engineer. In my previous experience, we were supporting maximum 5 or 6 projects. The justification was that, Infosys had robust systems and supporting these many projects was possible. Whether the quality engineers were able to do justice to that or not is a big question! I started my job search, immediately after I joined. Though a company in Cochin was ready to give an offer, the remuneration was very less and my friends and well-wishers asked me to continue with Infosys, which I did.

When I joined Infosys, there was nobody to really guide about the different systems, though they had a buddy system in place, and nobody in reality introduced me to the teams, which I was supporting. I myself introduced me and went to meet the teams. They were surprised, as they told, the SQAs rarely came to meet them! My manager also told me that smart work was required.

The first shock

After I joined, there was an ISO 9001 audit and CMMi assessment. Though a project supported by me was selected for CMMi assessment, it was later moved to the previous SQA as they decided that the new SQAs shouldn’t be part of the appraisal. For ISO 9001 audit, a project supported by me was selected and I did my best to make it ready. I was new and was not familiar with the systems much. There were some mismatches between the systems and the documents and my manager who wanted to review the documents noticed this and told me that ‘we might lose our job’. That person told in no uncertain terms that I should get this fixed, but no help was offered! Surprisingly, these were old documents which were created even before I joined and I was wondering what was being done at that time! I did my best and made the project ready for the audit. The fact that the people were interested more in pointing fingers at somebody than resolving the issue was a shock to me. I could see these sorts of aggressive behaviours throughout my tenure there, though there were a few exceptions like my manager’s manager.

Getting a low rating

Immediately after joining Infosys, I had to be part of the performance appraisal cycle as I had completed 3 months and 3 days. As per the rule, anybody who is more than 3 months old in the system would be part of that! I was put into CRR 3 (Cumulative Relative Ranking). This is given for below par performance. My manager conveyed the rating but I didn’t know much about this, as I was new. That person began to mention the shortcomings in me like; the mismatch in the document during the ISO audit and that I didn’t help the old SQA in the CMMi appraisal. I asked, why there was no guidance when I joined and the answer was that, you were experienced. When I told the project for the CMMi assessment was given to the old SQA, it was told that he was looking for some help and I didn’t help. When I told no help was asked from me, it was told that I should have proactively contacted and helped him!

A cultural shock: the importance of visibility in the corporate world

Then it was asked how far in the corporate hierarchy I was visible and whether I had received any appreciation. That person also mentioned that these were all part of the culture of the company. I had seen some of my team members sharing the appreciation mails with the manager and that person in turn appreciating them. In my previous experience, in companies like HCL, this was not given any importance and they used to ask the team members to show the results, if these were shown (I am not sure whether the culture has changed there). This was a cultural shock to me and I began to feel that I was a misfit in the corporate world. Later I realised that they followed the bell curve and it was necessary to find a few people to be moved to CRR 3 and I was a sitting duck. It was the worst period of my career. This usually happened with new joiners and those who were leaving the company. I cannot blame the manager, as that person was following the culture of the company. Later they removed this concept but still on some occasions I heard that there were mandates to move a few people to lower ratings.

My dad’s hunch

My dad who was ailing at that time, got very nervous, when I told him about this. He told me that the situation might change later and to concentrate on the job. I did that and I began to get good feedbacks from the project teams with whom I was working. In fact, a few days before he passed away, he told me that they (Infosys) liked my job and asked me to continue there. I was trying for a job change even after that, but somehow it didn’t succeed. As they say, when the fruit is ripe, it will fall on its own. In the end, I spent close to 12 years in that company, that too in two tenures!

Promotion

Though I never got more than CRR 2 (1 and 1+ were the highest ones), after three years, I was told that I was getting promoted. It was a JL6 role as Account Quality Manager, the real role of a manager. I was surprised and decided to give it a try. After some time, the manager was changed and I had a reasonably good relationship with the new manager and I began to get better ratings too. Unfortunately, after that I didn’t even get a progression (movement withing the same band to a higher designation). Usually, people get it in three years or earlier and I was stuck in this role for seven years. I was getting a feeling that I was either a real misfit or was not meeting the expectations.

The fourth mistake

After ten and half years, some of my colleagues from the delivery, who had moved to a company named ThoughtFocus contacted me and asked whether I was ready to join them. I agreed and there were some discussions. They told they wouldn’t be able to offer a big hike. It didn’t move for a long time and they called again and asked whether I was ready join for the same salary which I was drawing at Infosys. They also conveyed that it would be a one man show and they might expand the team later based on the growth. Since I was getting stuck in the current role, I decided to join. That was the fourth mistake; making the same mistake of joining a company where you would be doing a one man show and jumping without a hike.

The fifth mistake

They were looking for a person to look after the certification needs and they had a consultant who was helping them in it. I realised that there was no plan to expand the team and the consultant was trying to become the authority in the department whereas that person was supposed only to be a consultant. It was not moving ahead smoothly and I began the job search again.

That is when I talked to an old colleague of mine from Infosys and she asked why I was not planning a comeback. I was a bit hesitant but after a few days, I told her to check the possibility of me joining them back. She contacted my super boss (manager’s manager) and he was happy to take me back. Unfortunately, his team didn’t have any opening and he told I might have to join another team. I was reluctant but still joined as I wanted a switch. I am grateful to both of them for the help. There too, I was given only a minimum hike which I would have received had I continued there. That was the fifth mistake. Going back to the old company that too, to a place where you had faced issues in the first tenure.

The initial euphoria dies down and offers to quit

Initially things were going fine, but slowly I felt that I made a mistake as the role itself was turning towards an administrative one where the focus was on the financial systems and margin improvement. It led to a generic discontent among the quality team and the delivery team. There were occasions on which it was required to get into tough discussions. Though I was aggressive in the initial part of my career, it was difficult for me to get into arguments, towards the end of my career. My health was getting affected and I informed my manager that I wanted to go on long leave or quit. That person offered a new role, in which I could track a few important parameters at the unit level. I accepted that and it was a good change. I am grateful to that person for offering a role like that but there were too many ad hoc things which came up and I was not enjoying that.

The importance of visibility

Further, on one of the occasions, I was asked to prepare a team nomination for an award. Since I was not interested in any award, I told my manager that I wouldn’t it be the right person for that. Though I was asked to continue with that, it was removed from me when I again requested that to be removed.

I was also asked to present a topic in a weekly forum and I told I would do that when I had a good topic to present. I had seen people presenting one topic or the other for the sake of it and the forum itself was losing its value. There was continuous pressure on me and I wrote to the manager requesting me to be relieved from this task till I got a good topic. A few topics which that person thought important were suggested to me but there were not much things to be presented in those areas.

Applying for awards, winning them, presenting a topic in a forum etc give you visibility. When more and more people present from a team, that gives visibility to the manager too! The reluctance from my side to do these were clear mistakes from the corporate point of view

Offers to quit again

I again went to the manager and expressed my willingness to quit. On that occasion too, I was asked to continue for some more time. We agreed that we would see till December 2024 and decide the next steps after that. I asked for a short break and I was allowed to go on leave for a week. When I came back, I received a mail with a task and a crude comment about the break which I took. I felt something was wrong. Suddenly a few more high priority tasks came one by one. I had a few queries and responded with those. Unfortunately, on the day I rejoined, I fell ill and had to log off early too.

A surprise meeting

The very next day, a meeting was setup between me, my manager and the manager’s manager (not the person who brought me back). From the beginning, I realised that the meeting was to give me a warning. It was pointed out that everybody had health issues but they took medicines and worked. I understood that it was a dig at my logging off early, the previous day. It was told that I was going back to the manager for each and every thing, whereas other team members went back only for the final review. It was also pointed out that I refused to write the nominations and present the topic in the forum. I was asked to change or plan my future outside.

I told, I had expressed my willingness to leave earlier itself. Since the conditions were not conducive for me to continue there, I expressed my willingness to leave again but asked them to give me two days’ time to come back on this.

Deciding to quit

Since it was decided earlier to continue till the end of December, I had conveyed to my family that I would be continuing in that job for some more time. So, I decided to ask for two weeks’ time to search for another opportunity withing the organization. When I discussed this with my manager it was conveyed “let us see who is taking you”. I almost found another opportunity and I contacted my manager’s manager too about that and that person responded telling I was not fit for that. I realised that it wouldn’t move further. The other team also dropped it.

I submitted my resignation and later got a call from my manager asking what was my preference about the date of relief. I realized that they were planning to relieve me as early as possible. In the last tenure, I was made to serve three months of notice period, though I had requested for an early relief. I told, I didn’t have any preference. When asked again, I told them to decide on their own. In the end, I was relieved in two weeks! Here too, I cannot blame the manager as that person was a perfect fit for the corporate world and was following what that person thought correct! I should have gone with the flow and I have only myself to blame.

Conclusion

Even with these shortcomings, I spent 27 years in the corporate world, a remarkable feat, isn’t it? I could have spent more years if I had not made the mistakes which I mentioned. As the saying goes, you should either do what you like or like what you do. Both didn’t happen and it led to a break in my career but this break has given me enough time to spend on myself and going to my core. To know what I did immediately after that, please read ’Visit to Sri Ramanasramam’ 

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