Visit to Sri Ramanasramam

Introduction

This is a write up about my visit to the Ramanasramam from 1^st February to 5^th February, 2025. This is a slightly lengthy one but might be of interest to those who follow Ramana Maharshi and might help those who want to visit Ramanasramam. Sub headings are given in the article, which might help those, who cannot go through the entire article, to go to those portions which would interest them. Since photography is not allowed inside the Asramam, photos of Asramam premises are not available. Eventually, if it inspired you to visit Ramanasramam or follow Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi, I would be very happy.

Booking the accommodation

I was interested in the teachings of Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi and had a desire to visit the Ramanasramam, but it didn’t happen due to one reason or the other. Rather I would say that I didn’t get enough time to plan the visit. When I left Infosys on 5^th December 2024 without another job, I had enough time for myself and was thinking of utilizing the time in the best possible way. I had a discussion with Dr. Sachin of TISA and he also suggested me to view this as an opportunity to spend time on something useful. He suggested that spending time in an Asram would be a good idea. That was the inspiration to take the final step to visit the Ramanasramam

The accommodation and food are free at the Asramam and maximum 5 days are allowed for Indians and 2 weeks for foreigners. Voluntary contributions are accepted. I went to their website ( https://www.gururamana.org/ is the website of the Asramam from where you can navigate to https://stay.gururamana.org/home for booking the accommodation) and booked the accommodation for 1^st to 6^th January and they responded with the revised dates of 1^st to 5^th February. I readily accepted it as I had no other engagements!

The first day at Ramanasramam

Reaching Ramanasramam

I started from Bangalore on 1^st February at 8 AM and reached the Asramam at 12.10 PM. I went via Sarjapur, Kagganoor – Nallur road, Hosur, Krishnagiri and Chengam (you can go via Electronic City, Attibale, Hosur too. The Google map showed the Asramam school for special children and the dispensary of the Asramam as the destination but I couldn’t see the arch of the Asramam. I enquired with a street vendor and he told me to go a little ahead and that the arch would be near the autorickshaw stand. He told there was no parking space inside and told me to park it somewhere there. I thought of moving ahead, locate the place and then park somewhere there. I could see the arch after a distance but couldn’t find a parking space. So, I drove backwards and parked it near the special school.  

The arch of Ramanasramam in the night of the first day

Allotment of the room

After taking the copy of the Aadhar which they had asked for, I went inside. I gave the footwear to the free footwear stand and visited the accommodation office. Nobody was there, as all had gone for lunch. I could see Mr. Anand Ramanan, the president of the Asramam at his office. One attendant asked me to wait for some time, till the lady managing the computerised accommodation requests came. The lunch is provided in the Asramam at 11.30 AM. After 10 mins an elderly gentleman in white Dhoti and shirt came and enquired about my presence. I later heard him say his name as Srinivasa Murthy. The Hindu’s book on Ramana Maharshi mentions about one Dr. Srinivasa Murthy and I think I met the same person. (K.S. Kannan, another person mentioned in the book, was also seen on subsequent days; twice serving breakfast to the inmates and on some other occasions inside the Asramam). He completed the formalities and allotted the room. Though the Aadhar card or its copy was asked for, it was not collected and stored with them.

Usage of the footwear

I asked whether the footwear could be used while using the toilets inside the Asramam and he told me not to worry as the room was inside the Asramam itself and the toilet inside the room could be used. He also told that the footwear could be used if the general toilets had to be used. I also had a query about the usage of the footwear while trekking to Skandasramam and Virupaksha cave but he was a bit busy and I thought of asking it later. He told me and a few others, who had also come to occupy the room, to wait for the other person to come and update the online record. Since she was taking time, he told us to come at 3.30 PM and meet her.

Shooting of the serial on Ramana Maharshi

At the same time a few people came to the president’s office with camera and I could see an actress of the serial on Ramana Maharshi which was going on in Sankara TV. A few portions were getting shot there. They were there the next day too.

The accommodation inside the Asramam

As mentioned earlier, the room was allotted inside the premises itself. The room number was A-9. It was inside the compound where the dispensary and the special school were functioning, the destination shown by Google map earlier! I went to the security and he asked for the key of the room. When I showed it, he allowed me inside and I parked my car in front of the special school.

Entrance to the dispensary and the special school

He told me to find out the room and take the luggage after that, to prevent roaming around with the luggage. It turned out to be a good suggestion as I had some difficulty in finding out the room. While roaming around, searching for the room, I saw a big rock which had a structure built at the bottom with a window and a door. I was wondering what it was. Later when I viewed the video of David Godman to check the details of Palakothu, I realised that it was a cave which was used by Yogi Ramaiah and later by Krishna Swamy, who was an attender of Bhagavan. I came back and told him that I couldn’t find the room. Another security came and he told me to go in a particular direction and at last I located it.

It was close to Chadwick memorial, Yogi Ramaiah cottage and A Devaraja Mudaliar cottage and the Samadhis of Chadwik, S. S. Cohen etc. It was an old room with clay tiles but was neatly maintained. It had meshed windows and door, a cot, fan, stool, table, chair and a shelf. The bathroom had a geyser, European closet and a washbasin. It was surrounded by trees, and monkeys and peacocks were seen around that. It had the advantage of being inside the Asramam itself and it was possible to go to the Asramam whenever I wanted. I understand that there were rooms outside the Asramam too and some of them are quite new with ceramic tiles and all but I felt, that wouldn’t give the feel of living in the Asramam.

Chadwick memorial and Yogi Ramaiah cottage

A Devaraja Mudaliar cottage and a peacock near that

The room at Ramanasramam

Monkeys near the room

Having lunch outside and finishing the check in formalities

Since the lunch time was over, I had lunch at Hotel Ananda Ramana, just opposite the Asramam. Around 3 PM, I went to meet the person to complete the formalities online. On the way to the Asramam, I could see the Samadhis of Lakshmi the cow, Jackie the dog, Valli the deer and the blessed crow. Again, though the Aadhar card or its copy was asked for, it was not collected and stored with them.

Samadhis of Lakshmi the cow, Jackie the dog, Valli the deer and the blessed crow at a distance

Usage of footwear while trekking uphill

After completing the formalities, I enquired with her whether footwear could be used for trekking uphill and she told it could be used. They will have to be kept outside the Skandasramam and Virupaksha cave. She also told that the footwear could be worn on the pathway on the two sides of the Asramam to reach the way uphill.

Food

Free breakfast at 7 AM, lunch at 11.30 AM, tea/milk  at 4 PM and dinner at 7 PM are provided for the inmates and special invitees. The security might ask for the room key to check whether that person is an inmate or not. At 4 PM, I went for the tea. Tea or milk without sugar was also available.

Afternoon routine

While waiting for the tea, I met one of the persons who was also allotted a room along with me. He was from Chennai and was coming for the third time. He told me not to miss going uphill and doing Girivalam (circumambulating the Arunachala hill). After tea I decided to explore the Asramam and roamed around; visited the book stall, the library, the cow shed etc. In the book stall, I located a few books which I had in my mind and decided to buy them on one of the subsequent days.

After that, I visited the Mathrubuteswara temple (Bhagavan’s mother’s Samadhi) and the new hall which is more like a foyer to the temple, Bhagavan’s Samadhi shrine, Samadhi room, Samadhis of Chinnaswami or Swami Niranjanananda (Bhagavan’s brother) and his son T. N. Vekataraman or Swami Ramanananda and the old hall aka meditation room and attended the evening chanting at Bhagavan’s samadhi shrine. I spent some time meditating in the halls before the evening chanting. After that, I went to the room, had a bath and came back for dinner at 7 PM. After dinner, I meditated again in the Bhagavan’s shrine, the new hall and the old hall and went back to sleep after visiting the Samadhis of Muruganar, Swami Rajeswarananda, Viswanatha Swami, Ramaswami Pillai and Kunju Swami, which were located inside the Asramam and opposite the place where the accommodation was provided. This was more or less my afternoon routine during the stay.

The daily routine of activities at the Asramam

Working hours of Asramam facilities 

The second day at Ramanasramam

Skandasramam and the freezing of time

The next day went for the chanting at 6 AM and then for breakfast. Decided to trek to Skandasramam and Virupaksha cave. I started the trek around 8.25 AM and was using the footwear. While trekking upwards, somebody asked the time and it was around 8.45 AM. On the way, there is a point from where you get a very good view of the Arunachaleswara temple. I reached Skandasramam by 8.55 AM. The footwear was left near the place where the security was sitting. After visiting the Samadhi room of Bhagavan’s mother, I decided to leave around 9.20 AM, after meditating in the main building for some time. The time was 9.05 AM and after some time when I checked, it was still 9.05 AM and I realised that the watch had stopped. It was recently serviced and was working well. I decided to check the time on the phone, but was surprised to see that restarting. Though it would have happened just like that, it was like telling me that in reality there was no time! Surprisingly, the watch started to work later when I reached home after the trip!

The view of Arunachaleswara temple on the way to Skandasramam

Skandasramam

Virupaksha cave

After that, I visited the Virupaksha cave. We have to climb down a bit from the Skandasramam to reach the Virupaksha cave. There was no security guard but a person in ochre rob was manning the cave. The footwear was left near the entrance. There are two chambers and you will have to bend the head down while entering the inner chamber, lest it hits he ceiling. The book, ‘Who am I’, which summarises the teachings of Bhagavan, in different languages, were kept there for reading. I spent some time meditating in both the chambers.

Virupaksha cave

Guhai Namasivaya temple

After that, I visited the Guhai Namasivaya temple (not exaclty sure whether it is Guhai Namasivaya cave), for which we need to climb down a bit from the Virupaksha cave. The person, manning the place, was asking the visitors to make donations using the QR code kept inside. I went inside, sat for some time, made a small donation and came out. Some books were kept in an adjacent room but I am not sure whether they were for sale.

Entrance to Guhai Namasivaya temple

Meeting a fellow visitor

At Guhai Namasivaya temple, one person, who was climbing along with me, began to talk to me. He was a Telugu and was staying at Shiva Sannidhi Asramam near Ramanasramam. He told the pathway downwards from Guhai Namasivaya cave would lead to the Rajagopuram of Arunachaleswara temple and whether I was interested in taking that. I was not planning the visit at that time and we decided to walk back.

Unnamalai Amman temple and Mulaipal Theertham

While climbing back to Virupaksha cave, there was a pavement to the right. My fellow traveller told, we could explore that, as a few people were seen using that path. It led us to Unnamalai Amman temple and the nearby Mulaipal Theertham. There, we could again see a pathway downwards and saw a few people coming that way. That way, also led to the Rajagopuram and he suggested taking that. I was not keen on that as the lunch time was 11.30 AM at the Asramam and I wanted to reach before that.

Unnamalai Amman temple

Mulaipal Theertham

Climbing down

We started climbing down around 10.30 AM and reached back around 11 AM. While climbing down, I decided to remove the footwear, when it was around 400 mtrs away from the Asramam. The pathway was paved with stones and it was not that difficult. I realised that the climb up also could have been done without footwear, but anyway since I was not used to walking barefoot, I think it was a good decision to use the footwear.

In the meantime, I noticed that most of the visitors were either Telugus or foreigners. I asked the Telugu person accompanying me and he told Telugus are like that. They wouldn’t leave any temple or religious places and told, that would be the case in Sabarimala too, as he thought I would be familiar with that place.

Annamalai Swami’s Samadhi

After coming back, I had lunch at 11.30 AM and then visited Annamalai Swami’s Samadhi which was near the room. Only two or three people were around and they were meditating. I also sat there for some time for meditation. After that, I took the Prasadam which was kept there and went around the shrine and went to the room.

Book store

After taking rest, I went to the book store and bought the following books; 1) Sri Ramana Gita translated by Prof. K. Swaminathan (another version by S. Sankaranarayanan was also available but that was a bit bulky. I am a slow reader and decided to buy the smaller one), 2) Self-realisation, the first English biography of Bhagavan by B. V. Narasimhaswamy, 3) Yoga Vasishta Sara, 4) Self enquiry, 5) Kaivalya Navaneetham, 6) Essence of Ribhu Gita, (the full version of Ribhu Gita was also available but I decided to read the essence first) and 7) All is one. It cost me Rs. 425/-. I had a few more books in my mind but decided to buy them after reading these.

Meeting the person from Chennai again

While having tea, I met the person from Chennai again and he asked me what I had done for the day and what my plans were. I told him about my visit uphill and that I was planning a visit to Sheshadri Swami’s Asramam and Yogi Ramsuratkumar's Asramam, the next day. He told he went for Girivalam and that it took 3.5 hours for him to finish. He covered Sheshadri Swami’s Asramam as part of that and he told the cafeteria inside Sheshadri Swami’s Asramam was very good. He had also visited an orphanage which do not advertise, spent time with them and had lunch there. He told he couldn’t see the samadhi of Muruganar and I pointed towards that as it was located close to the place where we were standing. I told the samadhi of Annamali Swami was also nearby, which he was not aware of. He told the samadhi of Sadhu Om was on the way to Yogi Ramsuratkumar's Asramam.

Gallery displaying picture and some articles used by Bhagavan

In the evening while coming back to the room, after listening to the chanting, I decided to enter a building which I earlier thought was a cottage which was allotted to somebody. I had seen some photographs and lights inside, throughout the day. It was a gallery displaying the pictures and some articles used by Bhagavan. I didn't realise it earlier and would have missed it. It was near the Samadhi of Lakshi the cow and all. Later, I got to know from the serial on Ramana Maharshi in Sankara TV that Bhagavan underwent surgery in that room.

The third day at Ramanasramam

Sheshadri Swami's Asramam

After breakfast, I visited Sheshadri Swami's Asramam which was adjacent to Ramanasramam. There, I visited the different shrines and the hall where the idols of various Swami's were kept. I meditated in the hall for some time and left. Rooms are available there too but they charge some amount for that. I also saw the cafeteria, which the person from Chennai, had mentioned about.

Sheshadri Swami's Asramam

Yogi Ramsuratkumar's Asramam

After that, I visited Yogi Ramsuratkumar's Asramam. There, I visited the hall which housed the Samadhi and an exhibition depicting his life. The Sidhi Sthal or Samadhi room, where his belongings and photos are kept was behind that and I visited that place too. After that, I went around the Asramam which was marked as Girivalam. May be, this is a miniature version of Girivalam, which was proposed by the Yogi. They were providing free breakfast as Prasadam and I had a very small tiffin from there too. There too, I could see rooms for accommodation but do not know the details. While going to Yogi Ramsuratkumar's Asramam, I was looking for Sadhu Om’s Samadhi but I couldn’t see that.

Yogi Ramsuratkumar's Asramam

The view of Arunachala hill while coming back from Yogi Ramsuratkumar's Asramam

Girivalam in an autorikshaw

After that I came back, meditated in the old hall and had lunch. After that, I took an autorickshaw and visited the Ashtalingams and did an auto Girivalam. He charged Rs. 700/- which was quite high. Since I had no company and was not familiar with the place, I decided to go around in the autorickshaw. The Vayu lingam, which is part of Ashtalingams, was closed by the time I reached there but I saw the deity from outside. The Surya lingam which is not part of Ashtalingams was also closed. There is Chandra lingam too which is not part of Ashtalingams. Indra lingam couldn't be visited as he told it was near the Arunachaleswara temple and it was difficult to go in an autorickshaw.

Pali Theertham, Palakothu and meeting Ram

When I came back, I decided to take the pathway on the side of the Ashram to reach the room and saw a pond on the way. I was wondering whether it was Pali Theertham which I had read about in the books about Bhagavan. I checked the Google map and almost confirmed it. Then I was checking where Palakothu was and it showed that the area around Annamalai Swami's Samadhi for that. At that time, I saw one of the attendants, who was regularly seen in the Samadhi Shrine and old hall coming that way and I asked him. (His name was Ram, which I got to know towards the end of that meeting). He asked whether I was a Telugu since I spoke in English and I told I was a Malayalee. He continued in English. He confirmed that the pond was indeed Pali Theertham and that the area around and behind Annamalai Swami's Samadhi was Palakothu. The place where the rooms were built can also be considered as part of Palakothu. Bhagavan used to come for his walks in these places and I was living in a room which was on a place frequented by him.

Ram showing Annamalai Swami’s house

He told the house of Annamalai Swami was also located near his Samadhi and that Paul Brunton's house could also be seen from there. He himself invited me to go along with him and I followed him. He showed the house which I didn't realise earlier as Annamalai Swami’s house. He mentioned about David Godman and asked me whether I knew him. When I said yes, he asked me how and I told I had read about Ramana and seen David’s videos. I enquired about V. Ganesan, who was the grandnephew of Bhagavan and he told, Ganesan was spending most of the time at home and was not coming to the Asramam regularly. He opened up and we discussed for some time about Ramana. David Godman had written ‘Living by the words of Bhagwan’, a book on Annamalai Swami, after listening to Annamalai Swami in that house.

Annamalai Swami’s Samadhi and house

Ram telling the meaning of Palakothu

He asked whether I knew the meaning of Palakothu. I thought it was related to milk as pal meant milk. He told Pala in Tamil means Jackfruit and that the area was full of Jackfruit trees. Later I searched google and found that Kothu meant cluster. So Palakothu means a cluster of jackfruit trees. 

Ram showing Agasthiar Theerham and Paul Bruton’s house

Then he took me to the top of Annamalai Swami's house and showed the area behind that. It was Palakothu. I saw Agasthiar Theerham or Palakothu Theertham, the Ganesha temple and Paul Brunton's house. Later I learned from David Godman’s video that this house was initially bult by B. V. Narasimhaswamy and was occupied by Brunton, when he left Tiruvannamalai to visit Shirdi.

Agasthiar Theerham and Paul Bruton’s house (behind the wall)

Ram mentioning about Ganga Maa and David Godman writing a book about her

I asked his name. He was Ram. He told David would come for parayana (chanting or reading) on Saturdays and Mondays and told he would show him to me if I was there in the evening, as it was a Monday. He told Davind was associated with a lady saint from Kerala, named Ganga Maa and was writing a book about her. She lived in a place near Ramanasramam and the Satsangs happened daily. He told I could visit her if I was interested. 

Ram mentioning about Papa Ramdas

He spoke about Papa Ramdas and his Anandasramam in Kanhangad in Kerala and asked whether it was close to my place. I told him that it was about 300 KMs from my home town but that I was living in Bangalore. Then he told visiting Ramanasramam from Bangalore was very easy and that I could visit very often. He told several people from Ramanasramam visited Anandasramam regularly.

Ram speaking about Girivalam

He asked me whether I was planning Girivalam and the temple visit. I told him about the auto Girivalam and he told Rs.700/- was very high. He told the autorikshaw drivers were fleecing the customers. Since the foreigners and those from outside Tamil Nadu were paying whatever they asked for, they were exploiting the devotees. He told if Girivalam could not be done, Bhagavan had suggested going around the Arunachaleswara temple which was equivalent to Girivalam and suggested me to do that.

Ram’s advice on visiting Arunachaleswara temple and taking leave of him

I enquired about Pavalakundru and Gurumurtham temples where Bhagavan had stayed. He told Pavalakundru was close to Arunachaleswara temple but was slightly uphill and told me to explore it in the next visit. Gurumurtham was a bit far and he told he himself hadn’t visited it. He told me to avoid early morning and evening while visiting the Arunachaleswara temple as it would be crowed. He told entry to the inner chamber will be closed by 8 PM and the temple would be closed by 9 PM. Weekends and Mondays are crowded; weekends due to the weekend crowd and Mondays due to the fact that they are special days for Lord Siva. Since I was planning to go there on Tuesday, he told Tuesday was the best day for a peaceful visit. He suggested going by bus instead of autorikshaw and that I should pay only Rs.50/- if I was going by the autorikshaw. He told the bus would cost only Rs.10/-.  I bade him bye at that time and then went back to the room. Most of the time, he was seen in the Samadhi shrine, writing something after referring a book. I am not sure whether he was doing it as a Sadhana or writing a book.

Archives

After tea, I went to the office to enquire where the archives were kept. I had read about it in the book published by The Hindu. The attendant told, it was not public. Though I was a bit disappointed, I accepted it and moved ahead.

Buying a few more books

Then, I visited the bookstore again and bought three more books, though I had decided to buy more books only after completing those which were bought the previous day! I thought the following books were important and I should not postpone buying them. They were 1) Periya Puranam, the only spiritual book Bhagavan had read before his death experience and the subsequent self-realisation, 2) Day by day with Bhagavan by A. Devaraja Mudaliar and 3) Ashtavakra Gita, a Kannada to English translation which was earlier published by Mysore palace. It cost me Rs. 520/-. I wanted to buy Talks with Ramana Maharshi too but its paperback edition was not available.

Planning the trip to Arunachaleswara temple

During Parayana, I was checking for David but didn’t see him. Ram also told me that he didn’t come. In the night, I met Ram again and asked whether walking to the Arunachaleswara temple was a good idea. He told if I could walk, that was the best option. So, I decided to walk to the temple next morning.

The fourth day at Ramanasramam

Visit to the Arunachaleswara temple

After breakfast I went to the Arunachaleswara temple by walk. On the way, I took the photo of Sheshadri Swami’s Asramam which I had not done the previous day. I started around 8.15 AM and reached the temple around 8.45 AM. I entered the temple through the gate before the Rajagopuram. The cloak room was closed and I had to drop the footwear with a lady flower vendor. It was not much crowded as told by Ram. Still, I decided to go for the special Darsan by paying Rs.50/-. I struggled a bit to find the place to buy the ticket. Somebody told me to go to the right and enter the compound from the other side, which was the Rajagopuram side. I went there and joined the queue for special Darsan.

The view of Arunachala hill while going to the Arunachaleswara temple

Patala Linga shrine

The first visit was to the Patala Linga shrine, which comes before the ticket counter and which I was very eager to see. It was the place where Bhagavan had spent time, oblivious of the surroundings and where Sheshadri Swami found him and brought him out. It was renovated by Ramanasramam and I went inside. The shrine was open and the priest was available. He gave me the Vibhuti and immediately after that closed the shrine. I was lucky enough to reach there on time! I went around the shrine and came out.

Patala Linga shrine

Visiting the main shrine of Arunachaleswara temple

After that I went to some small shrines and then took the ticket for special Darsan. Unfortunately, that queue was longer than the normal queue. I had the Darsan of the deity and other major deities and came out. After that I went once again to visit the Patala Lingam, sat there and took a photo. While going again they had closed the pathway with a gate and opened a small portion of that. I didn’t notice the lower rung of that gate and hit against that and injured my leg. Luckily it was not a big injury and I took it as a punishment for whatever mistakes I had committed. After visiting the Patala Linga shrine, I came out of the temple through the Rajagopuram. I couldn’t see the thousand pillared hall though I wanted to see it and decided to do it in the next visit. It was the name of this temple which initiated Ramana to the spiritual path. It is a huge temple with great spiritual vibrations and a must visit.

Visit to Indra lingam and return

The Indra lingam, which I had missed in the auto Girivalam, was close to the temple and I went there. I came back to collect the footwear and paid Rs.50/- for that. At that time the cloak room was open, both at that gate and at Rajagopuram. I am not sure whether the cloak room at Rajagopuram was open when I visited the temple, as I had not entered through that but I think they open around 9 AM or 9.30 AM. After that, I went around the temple, as suggested by Ram, as it was equivalent to Girivalam. I walked back, after that, around 10.30 AM, and went to Yogi Ramsuratkumar’s Asramam once again as I wanted to take the photo of the Asramam.

Old post office, Veda Pathsala and the moulded model of Arunachala hill

In the evening, I decided to explore the Asramam once again as I couldn’t see the old post office, the Veda Pathsala and the moulded model of Arunachala hill in one of the store rooms which Annamalai Swami had made based on the suggestion of Bhagavan. I had read in the book of ‘The Hindu’ that the Veda Pathsala was close to the cow shed. When I visited the cow shed on the first day, I had seen a few buildings on the left-hand side of that, while going from the Samadhi shrine. One of the buildings had the board ‘No admission’ and I had decided not to turn that way. I just decided to go in front of those and realised that, that itself was the old post office. I sat at the place where Bhagavan had sat in one of the famous pictures. Then I turned towards the dining hall and saw the Veda Pathsala, adjacent to that building. When I reached the dining hall, I decided to turn towards the library and looked inside the store room on the right and there, to my surprise, saw the moulded model of the hill!  

Seeing David Godman

In the night, when I was coming out of the new hall when it was getting closed, I saw David Godman entering the hall. He met a lady and both of them went out. Since, I wanted to see him, I just followed them. They went out of the Asramam and went away in a scooter. In the night, when I met Ram, I told him that I had seen David. He told, the previous day when he went home, he saw David there and he had not come for Parayana as he and his wife had gone for Girivalam. He told there was an evening Satsang at Ganga Maa’s place on Tuesdays and he and his wife would have come after that. I told I saw him going out with a lady and he told it would be his wife. She is a professor of philosophy in Australia and had come to India for vacation. He told, my wish to see him was anyway fulfilled!

Dermatologist from Baroda

On one of these days, I was sitting near a dignified elderly person for breakfast or lunch or dinner, I don’t remember for what. On more than one occasion, his hand brushed against me. Initially, I thought, I was sitting very close to him and moved a bit away but it happened again. He apologised on all those occasions and in the end told he was very clumsy. I just smiled and told it was alright. I sat near him again on the subsequent day and he told he would try his best not to be clumsy! He didn’t brush against me and in the end told with a smile that he succeeded in his mission. I affirmed it and told that it was perfect!

On the fourth day, when I went for dinner, I saw a seat near him again and he smilingly invited me. We got into a discussion and he asked whether I was from Bangalore. It was a wild guess and it was correct! He told he was basically from Baroda but had a house in Tiruvannamalai too. He asked whether I was coming for the first time and I told yes. I asked about his visit and he told he was visiting the Asramam from 1970. I told, I was not even born at that time. He told it made him felt very old. I told he would have been quite young at that time and he smilingly replied telling he was still young. I agreed with him and told he was young but would have been quite young at 1970! I told, I was planning to come there for a long time but it didn’t happen and that I could find time as I left the job two months back. Then he told, you were retired! That was what I was also thinking of myself and told it could be considered as a semi-retirement! He asked in which field I was working and I told IT. I asked him whether he was working somewhere or was into some business. He told he was a Dermatologist and was working in Bahrain. He also conveyed that, that visit was a special one as his son was visiting the Asramam, along with his wife, for the first time after getting married. I wished them the best in my mind. He was speaking impeccable English and I was also thinking that he was highly educated. I didn’t ask his name. Otherwise, I would have revealed his name, which luckily didn’t happen!

The fifth day at Ramanasramam

Sadhu Om’s Samadhi

Since the checkout was at 12 noon, I decided to use the little time available till that to explore the Samadhi of Sadhu Om. I checked the Google map and found that, it was immediately after the right turn towards Yogi Ramsuratkumar's Asramam. Instead of turning right, we have to move straight. I also checked the place of Ganga Maa and saw that, it was on the road towards the left from where the right turn to Yogi Ramsuratkumar's Asramam had to be taken. Instead of turning right, we need to turn left.

The gate of Sadhu Om’s Samadhi was bolted but not locked. It also had the Samdhi of Thinnai Swami. I visited both the Samadhi shrines. The office was closed. They had mentioned ‘Strictly no donations accepted’!

Sadhu Om’s Samadhi

Ganga Maa’s place

Then I visited Ganga Maa’s place. It was a house where several foreigners had congregated. A book edited by David Goeman was kept for sale, but nobody was manning the counter. The Satsang was at 9.30 AM and it was only 8.45 AM. I decided to leave and learn about her first, before attending the Satsang. There is a website about her but not much details are available about her background. Let me wait.

Check out

I packed everything and kept them in the car. While going to the car, I walked past Mr. K. V. Subrahmonyan, about whom there was an article in the book by ‘The Hindu’. I had seen him on another day too. I decided to have the lunch and check out after that. When I went to the accommodation office, it was closed. I waited for some time and the lady looking into the online room booking came and I went inside and gave the key. She updated the records and the formalities were completed in five minutes. I asked how I can make some contributions and she told me to scan the QR code available there and do it. She told if I had come earlier and done it at the accounts office, they would have given the receipt at that time itself. I told that was fine and transferred the amount. The online receipt came after some time.

I thanked her for the stay and left around 12.30 PM and visited the Vayu Lingam once again as it was closed during the auto Girivalam. It was closed again as I had visited it almost at the same time earlier! I reached home at 4.40 PM using the same route which I had taken in the forward journey.

Conclusion

Before starting, I was a bit apprehensive as to whether I would like the stay but, in the end, it turned out to be a great experience. On the first day I thought I would feel some current of the Self, which I used to feel on and off earlier, immediately after sitting in one of the halls but it didn’t happen. I think I was a bit anxious initially. On the second night, suddenly, I began to feel the current. Though it has waned a bit, it still continues. Hope it stays. For those, who are interested in spirituality, this place is a must visit.

(Finalised on 15-Feb-2025)

The journey of a misfit through the corporate world

Introduction

This article describes the journey of a misfit in the corporate world. The writer of this article, who is the protagonist, made a lot of mistakes in the corporate world like making wrong/ mistimed job changes, making the same mistakes in job changes again and again, not doing enough background checks, not taking cues from the background check results, changing the job when the mind told there were some issues, changing the job without a salary hike, coming back to a company, not doing enough things to make yourself and the team visible in the corporate world and not going with the flow.

If you would like to know the details, please read on. It might tell you what not to do to succeed in the corporate world!

The first mistake

Though my first company was Gopinath Engg. Co. P. Ltd, in Mumbai, my first big corporate job was with NeST Information technologies P. Ltd. In fact, I enjoyed my tenure with them. A desire to see the corporate world outside and the peer pressure of colleagues jumping the job, made me to switch the job. That was the first mistake; jumping the job when you were comfortable with a job.

The second mistake

I joined HCL and I enjoyed my tenure, there too, for the first two years. I joined a team, named Penstock, which was the product development division of HCL and within a year, they made me the quality in charge of the division and recruited two more people and expanded the team. I was enjoying the tenure, when that division was closed down and the quality team was moved to another division. Since my job level was not that of a manager, I was moved to the role of a quality engineer in the new team. From the position of a leader, I became an ordinary team member.

I was feeling disillusioned with the corporate world from that time of 2009 itself. Since that was too early to leave the job, I somehow hung on. I was doing the same routine job of a quality engineer and was looking for a change from that though I was getting good feedbacks about my performance.

That is when I got the opportunity to head the quality department of JSoft, the IT division of JSW group. I knew that I would be the only member in the team and that they worked on the 1^st, 3^rd and 5^th Saturdays. A class mate of mine, who knew about the company told me that I might not enjoy the job. Still, in my eagerness to change the job, I joined them, though I was a bit apprehensive about these points. That was the second mistake; not continuing in the place where you were getting good feedbacks, not taking cues from the background check results and jumping when you felt a bit apprehensive. Further, on the last working day at HCL, the HR told me during the exit formalities that I was welcome to come back. I felt bad to leave a company like HCL. In hindsight, I can tell that, my tenures with NeST and HCL were the ones which I enjoyed the most.

Though JSoft was part of a big group like JSW and had plans to become a force in the IT field, it didn’t succeed and I was feeling that it was the time to move out. Further, I was not liking the one man show and working on Saturdays. At that time, I got an offer from Infosys. I have mentioned about these career moves in the blog posts 'Ssstammering and my life' and 'How to deal with stammering (A sequel to Ssstammering and my life)' though these posts were about how I dealt with my stammering and not about my corporate life.

The third mistake

The designation at Infosys was Quality Assurance Manager and the job leave (JL) was 5. When the interview happened and the offer letter was issued, I was under the impression that, it would be a managerial role. I had enquired with a class mate of mine about that role before joining. Though he told that JL5 was not a managerial role, he told it might be that in the quality department JL5 is a managerial role. Anyway, I decided to join as I was desperate for a change and Infosys as a brand name attracted me. In reality, it was a regular quality engineer role but with a fancy designation attached to that. Though in hindsight the jump was good as JSoft was closed down after one or two years, I think, I should have waited for some more tome for a better role, as I again came back to the role of a quality engineer which I was not enjoying. This was the third mistake; not doing a proper background check and joining a company only for its brand name.

The struggle with the corporate world starts

I was given around 35 projects to support as a quality engineer. In my previous experience, we were supporting maximum 5 or 6 projects. The justification was that, Infosys had robust systems and supporting these many projects was possible. Whether the quality engineers were able to do justice to that or not is a big question! I started my job search, immediately after I joined. Though a company in Cochin was ready to give an offer, the remuneration was very less and my friends and well-wishers asked me to continue with Infosys, which I did.

When I joined Infosys, there was nobody to really guide about the different systems, though they had a buddy system in place, and nobody in reality introduced me to the teams, which I was supporting. I myself introduced me and went to meet the teams. They were surprised, as they told, the SQAs rarely came to meet them! My manager also told me that smart work was required.

The first shock

After I joined, there was an ISO 9001 audit and CMMi assessment. Though a project supported by me was selected for CMMi assessment, it was later moved to the previous SQA as they decided that the new SQAs shouldn’t be part of the appraisal. For ISO 9001 audit, a project supported by me was selected and I did my best to make it ready. I was new and was not familiar with the systems much. There were some mismatches between the systems and the documents and my manager who wanted to review the documents noticed this and told me that ‘we might lose our job’. That person told in no uncertain terms that I should get this fixed, but no help was offered! Surprisingly, these were old documents which were created even before I joined and I was wondering what was being done at that time! I did my best and made the project ready for the audit. The fact that the people were interested more in pointing fingers at somebody than resolving the issue was a shock to me. I could see these sorts of aggressive behaviours throughout my tenure there, though there were a few exceptions like my manager’s manager.

Getting a low rating

Immediately after joining Infosys, I had to be part of the performance appraisal cycle as I had completed 3 months and 3 days. As per the rule, anybody who is more than 3 months old in the system would be part of that! I was put into CRR 3 (Cumulative Relative Ranking). This is given for below par performance. My manager conveyed the rating but I didn’t know much about this, as I was new. That person began to mention the shortcomings in me like; the mismatch in the document during the ISO audit and that I didn’t help the old SQA in the CMMi appraisal. I asked, why there was no guidance when I joined and the answer was that, you were experienced. When I told the project for the CMMi assessment was given to the old SQA, it was told that he was looking for some help and I didn’t help. When I told no help was asked from me, it was told that I should have proactively contacted and helped him!

A cultural shock: the importance of visibility in the corporate world

Then it was asked how far in the corporate hierarchy I was visible and whether I had received any appreciation. That person also mentioned that these were all part of the culture of the company. I had seen some of my team members sharing the appreciation mails with the manager and that person in turn appreciating them. In my previous experience, in companies like HCL, this was not given any importance and they used to ask the team members to show the results, if these were shown (I am not sure whether the culture has changed there). This was a cultural shock to me and I began to feel that I was a misfit in the corporate world. Later I realised that they followed the bell curve and it was necessary to find a few people to be moved to CRR 3 and I was a sitting duck. It was the worst period of my career. This usually happened with new joiners and those who were leaving the company. I cannot blame the manager, as that person was following the culture of the company. Later they removed this concept but still on some occasions I heard that there were mandates to move a few people to lower ratings.

My dad’s hunch

My dad who was ailing at that time, got very nervous, when I told him about this. He told me that the situation might change later and to concentrate on the job. I did that and I began to get good feedbacks from the project teams with whom I was working. In fact, a few days before he passed away, he told me that they (Infosys) liked my job and asked me to continue there. I was trying for a job change even after that, but somehow it didn’t succeed. As they say, when the fruit is ripe, it will fall on its own. In the end, I spent close to 12 years in that company, that too in two tenures!

Promotion

Though I never got more than CRR 2 (1 and 1+ were the highest ones), after three years, I was told that I was getting promoted. It was a JL6 role as Account Quality Manager, the real role of a manager. I was surprised and decided to give it a try. After some time, the manager was changed and I had a reasonably good relationship with the new manager and I began to get better ratings too. Unfortunately, after that I didn’t even get a progression (movement withing the same band to a higher designation). Usually, people get it in three years or earlier and I was stuck in this role for seven years. I was getting a feeling that I was either a real misfit or was not meeting the expectations.

The fourth mistake

After ten and half years, some of my colleagues from the delivery, who had moved to a company named ThoughtFocus contacted me and asked whether I was ready to join them. I agreed and there were some discussions. They told they wouldn’t be able to offer a big hike. It didn’t move for a long time and they called again and asked whether I was ready join for the same salary which I was drawing at Infosys. They also conveyed that it would be a one man show and they might expand the team later based on the growth. Since I was getting stuck in the current role, I decided to join. That was the fourth mistake; making the same mistake of joining a company where you would be doing a one man show and jumping without a hike.

The fifth mistake

They were looking for a person to look after the certification needs and they had a consultant who was helping them in it. I realised that there was no plan to expand the team and the consultant was trying to become the authority in the department whereas that person was supposed only to be a consultant. It was not moving ahead smoothly and I began the job search again.

That is when I talked to an old colleague of mine from Infosys and she asked why I was not planning a comeback. I was a bit hesitant but after a few days, I told her to check the possibility of me joining them back. She contacted my super boss (manager’s manager) and he was happy to take me back. Unfortunately, his team didn’t have any opening and he told I might have to join another team. I was reluctant but still joined as I wanted a switch. I am grateful to both of them for the help. There too, I was given only a minimum hike which I would have received had I continued there. That was the fifth mistake. Going back to the old company that too, to a place where you had faced issues in the first tenure.

The initial euphoria dies down and offers to quit

Initially things were going fine, but slowly I felt that I made a mistake as the role itself was turning towards an administrative one where the focus was on the financial systems and margin improvement. It led to a generic discontent among the quality team and the delivery team. There were occasions on which it was required to get into tough discussions. Though I was aggressive in the initial part of my career, it was difficult for me to get into arguments, towards the end of my career. My health was getting affected and I informed my manager that I wanted to go on long leave or quit. That person offered a new role, in which I could track a few important parameters at the unit level. I accepted that and it was a good change. I am grateful to that person for offering a role like that but there were too many ad hoc things which came up and I was not enjoying that.

The importance of visibility

Further, on one of the occasions, I was asked to prepare a team nomination for an award. Since I was not interested in any award, I told my manager that I wouldn’t it be the right person for that. Though I was asked to continue with that, it was removed from me when I again requested that to be removed.

I was also asked to present a topic in a weekly forum and I told I would do that when I had a good topic to present. I had seen people presenting one topic or the other for the sake of it and the forum itself was losing its value. There was continuous pressure on me and I wrote to the manager requesting me to be relieved from this task till I got a good topic. A few topics which that person thought important were suggested to me but there were not much things to be presented in those areas.

Applying for awards, winning them, presenting a topic in a forum etc give you visibility. When more and more people present from a team, that gives visibility to the manager too! The reluctance from my side to do these were clear mistakes from the corporate point of view

Offers to quit again

I again went to the manager and expressed my willingness to quit. On that occasion too, I was asked to continue for some more time. We agreed that we would see till December 2024 and decide the next steps after that. I asked for a short break and I was allowed to go on leave for a week. When I came back, I received a mail with a task and a crude comment about the break which I took. I felt something was wrong. Suddenly a few more high priority tasks came one by one. I had a few queries and responded with those. Unfortunately, on the day I rejoined, I fell ill and had to log off early too.

A surprise meeting

The very next day, a meeting was setup between me, my manager and the manager’s manager (not the person who brought me back). From the beginning, I realised that the meeting was to give me a warning. It was pointed out that everybody had health issues but they took medicines and worked. I understood that it was a dig at my logging off early, the previous day. It was told that I was going back to the manager for each and every thing, whereas other team members went back only for the final review. It was also pointed out that I refused to write the nominations and present the topic in the forum. I was asked to change or plan my future outside.

I told, I had expressed my willingness to leave earlier itself. Since the conditions were not conducive for me to continue there, I expressed my willingness to leave again but asked them to give me two days’ time to come back on this.

Deciding to quit

Since it was decided earlier to continue till the end of December, I had conveyed to my family that I would be continuing in that job for some more time. So, I decided to ask for two weeks’ time to search for another opportunity withing the organization. When I discussed this with my manager it was conveyed “let us see who is taking you”. I almost found another opportunity and I contacted my manager’s manager too about that and that person responded telling I was not fit for that. I realised that it wouldn’t move further. The other team also dropped it.

I submitted my resignation and later got a call from my manager asking what was my preference about the date of relief. I realized that they were planning to relieve me as early as possible. In the last tenure, I was made to serve three months of notice period, though I had requested for an early relief. I told, I didn’t have any preference. When asked again, I told them to decide on their own. In the end, I was relieved in two weeks! Here too, I cannot blame the manager as that person was a perfect fit for the corporate world and was following what that person thought correct! I should have gone with the flow and I have only myself to blame.

Conclusion

Even with these shortcomings, I spent 27 years in the corporate world, a remarkable feat, isn’t it? I could have spent more years if I had not made the mistakes which I mentioned. As the saying goes, you should either do what you like or like what you do. Both didn’t happen and it led to a break in my career but this break has given me enough time to spend on myself and going to my core. To know what I did immediately after that, please read ’Visit to Sri Ramanasramam’ 

Stammering self, non stammering self and the Self

 Upanishads say that he who says he knows, knows not and he who says he doesn't know knows something. The meaning is that the reality cannot be grasped by the senses and if somebody says that he doesn't know it, he at least has come to a state in which he has understood the limitations of the senses. This takes him on a journey of self discovery in which he goes to his core. 

He negates all the manifested things through the process of 'neti neti' ( not this, not this) and ultimately reaches the pure consciousness which is the ever existing reality. Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi said that we should abide in that Self and that was jnana. In that state only the Self exists.

Isavasyopanishad says he who sees himself in others and others in him has no sorrow, worry or trouble. He sees only the Self. There is nothing other than the self.

I had a discussion with Dr. Sachin of TISA (The Indian Stammering Association) recently. I knew that he also read Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi a lot and slowly the discussion went into the Bhagavan and Indian philosophy. When it came to the point of abiding in the Self, he told initially he was not sure whether to abide in the stammering self or his non stammering self. Later on he realised that the Self was beyond all these.  

When we came to the point of discussing the concept of 'he who says he knows, knows not', he told if a person says he is a stammerer he is wrong; if he says he is a non stammerer, again he is wrong. He is beyond all these.

Yes we are beyond all these concepts. The real recovery from stammering happens when we understand this reality. It doesn't happen through any technique. All the techniques like bouncing, prolongation etc should be discarded at one point; to borrow the words of the Maharshi once again, like the stick used for stirring the fire getting burnt in the end.

As Sri M, the great yogi of our time, says in his talks and in his writings, one of the sparks for anybody to go along the path of Self discovery is depression or sorrow. This is corroborated by the fact that the first chapter of Bhagavat Gita is known as Arjuna Vishada Yoga. 

So let's consider the stammering as the necessary spark for us to go on the path of Self discovery and achieve the real recovery. In that state where only the Self exists, is there anything called stammering self or non stammering self?

How to deal with children who stammer

Sometimes, I get messages asking for tips on dealing with children who stammer. Some of them tell they had little success with speech therapy of their children. On a few occasions, I told them that generally speech therapy was about managing stammering and chances of a complete recovery were high among children. I also told them that we ourselves can help the children in most of the cases. Unfortunately a few of them became more worried after hearing these. Instead of that, let us look at the positives.

Early and correct intervention from our side will help the child a lot, even leading to complete recovery. In fact my kids, son and daughter had also shown some signs of disfluency when they were 2 to 3 years old. Since I myself am a stammerer, I was really worried though my close relatives told these were normal in any child. Since there is a genetic connection to stammering, I wanted to ensure that they did not get it. The following points about dealing with stammering in children are based on my experiences too.

Old habits never die. If the child becomes successful in not making this style of speaking a habit, it leads to a complete recovery. To help the child in this, we should not make the child conscious of the way in which he or she speaks. The parent should not panic and show it on his or her face while dealing with the child. The child should not get a feeling that something is wrong. Let the child speak as if everything is fine. As some people say, stammering is something which happens when we try not to stammer. So let the child continue to speak without struggling to correct the speech.

In a bid to help the child we might advise him or her to slow down. This will help only in making the child conscious of the fact that something is wrong with his speech. Instead of that we should convey the same message by slowing down our own speech. If everybody at home decides to speak slowly, the same will be picked up by the child! 

Similarly allow the child to complete the words even if he or she is struggling. Do not try to complete the words. Be patient and listen carefully by maintaining normal eye contact and without flinching. These would help in not making the child conscious of the issue. Normally the onset of stammering happens when the child is 2 years old. At that time, the child will be most probably in the care of the parents. 

The points mentioned above if practiced, can help the child in coming out of the issue before he or she grows up  and starts interacting with the external world. If child has grown up, the following points in addition to  the above points might help.

Though adults do not face much ridicule, a child who stammers faces this a lot. The other children might see it as something funny and might make comments or laugh at it. If the child has siblings, talk to them and ask them to follow the same points mentioned above. Ask them to behave normally with him or her. If possible do the same with his or her friends too. If the child is of the school going age, please inform the teacher about this. If the child is complaining of children making fun of him, please convey the same to the teacher or take the help of the teacher. 

If the child is discussing about the issues of stammering, be open and calm and make him or her feel that it is okay to stammer. Encourage the child to do whatever he or she likes and appreciate him or her for the achievements. Let the child feel that he or she is just like any other child. If required, take the help of a speech therapist (speech language pathologist) who focusses of fluency issues. 

The confidence gained by the child in a friendly atmosphere at home and outside will surely help him or her in dealing with this situation. Early intervention aimed at not making the child conscious of the issue is the key. A few videos which might be of help are given below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2_mgt87g1Y

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMDNawyO1j4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTpckAufNDE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po-WMo8vXRY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTfTai2JG4E

How to deal with stammering (A sequel to Ssstammering and my life)

Sometimes I get mails from people, who read my blog ‘Ssstammering and my life’ athttp://sudheendranavittathur.blogspot.in/2016/02/ssstammering-and-my-life.html, asking whether there is a cure for stammering and what are the ways of dealing with stammering. I am not a person who is cured of stammering. In fact there is no known cure for it. In other words, there is no treatment which can guarantee a cure. When somebody hears this, he usually becomes disappointed. There is no need to become disappointed, as stammering can be managed to such an extent that it doesn’t affect the life of the stammerer.

The experts compare stammering with an iceberg. What you see outside is only a small part. There is a big emotional baggage which is not visible outside. From my experience, the traditional treatments or therapies deal with the part which is seen outside. They teach methods like prolongation, speaking slowly, breathing techniques etc, but they don’t usually deal with the submerged part. May be, that is the reason why most of the traditional therapies do not give long lasting relief from stammering.

There are people who lead a normal life though they stammer. Most of them do not show any symptom of stammering or they stammer very lightly. How is it so? The answer is; they manage it. They have learned how to deal with it and how to handle the day to day activities without difficulties. They have learned how to live with it. They have accepted their stammering and they do not run away from things from which they always used to run away.

The most important point is accepting yourself as a stammerer and removing the shame of stammering from the mind. When we try to hide or fight with it, it increases the tension. It will aggravate the problem. Instead of that be comfortable with it and stammer easily. We can even tell in advance that we stammer. By doing this, we won’t try to hide our stammering and the tension will go away.

Accepting yourself as a stammerer is a concept which is very much misunderstood. We speak about revealing our stammering in advance and relieving the tension. When I just finished my education and was looking for a job, I used to reveal my stammering in interviews, but I never got any relief! I used to stammer more and used to fail miserably! I used to reveal it, as if I was resigned to the fact that I was a stammerer and that I was sorry about that. It was that attitude which was creating the issue.

Acceptance is living with stammering, without fighting with that. You accept it as a part of your life and go ahead in life. You learn to be easy with that or learn to coexist with that. You don’t think of getting a magic remedy with which you can come out of it. You learn to stammer easily.

Most of the time, we are very much worried about the reaction of others or what others think about us when we stammer. We think others will ridicule us. In reality others are more interested in what we speak, not in how we speak. Most of the people are accommodative and are willing to listen (this might not be the case with children though). Only a minority laughs at this. Let them laugh. Let us laugh along with them or laugh off their ridicule. When a majority is willing to accommodate us, let us speak, even if we stammer. Lets not hide it.

The article ‘Ssstammering and my life’ was written when I was in HCL. That was the time when I started to accept my stammering. By 2010, I left HCL and joined JSW group in their IT division known as JSoft solutions. I joined them in a senior level role and it was necessary for me to interact with the CEO and other leaders of the organization, coordinate meetings of seniors, deal with external vendors etc. Though I used to run meetings with seniors in my previous jobs, I used to struggle a lot and used to feel bad. This job required that and a bit more to be done frequently. The concept of acceptance made me at ease and I began to do these with ease, though I used to stammer. I would continue irrespective of my stammering!

After one year, I  joined Infosys. Here too, interactions and meetings with senior leaders were part of the job. Though I faltered in a few cases, I continued. I slowly realized that I was not feeling bad in these situations. Another area which I could improve was talking over the phone, as the people with whom I interacted were sitting in different cities. Earlier I was not comfortable with telephonic conversations. Again, doing it continuously gave me the confidence. The new found confidence combined with acceptance made me a better speaker over the phone too.

Experts say, facing the challenges head on is the best way to deal with it. My experience is not different. Accepting your limitations and going ahead in life is the best way to deal with any difficult situation including stammering.

Does it mean that we should not go for any treatment? Partly yes, but it doesn’t mean that it has to be avoided. Usually, we approach treatments with the hope of getting a complete cure. As mentioned earlier, there is no guaranteed cure for this. When we do not get a cure we become disappointed. It, in turn creates more trouble. So always go to those therapists who treat fluency disorders and those who do not charge a big fee. Go there only to learn some techniques which might help in dealing with stammering and not for cure. Go there to learn how to deal with the visible part of the stammering iceberg. Deal with the submerged part through acceptance and facing the challenges head on.

Most of the people ask about support systems which will help in managing stammering.  Joining the self help group (SHG) will be a good option. It is happening in several places. It is free of cost. It helps you in interacting with fellow stammeres and learning from them. Most of the time, whatever you get to learn from a therapist, can be learned from there free of cost! If you are in India, please visithttp://stammer.in/ to get the details of SHGs run by TISA (The Indian Stammering Association). There will be similar groups in other countries too. TISA also conducts skype calls periodically. Please join those call, if you are unable to join SHGs. These will help in improving your confidence, accepting your stammering and improving your communication skill.

There is more to life than stammering. Start enjoying the life. Some of us would be holding us back from those things which we always wanted to do. We might be under the feeling that we would do it once stammering is cured! Don’t wait for that cure. Just go ahead and do those things which we always wanted to. We will start engaging with life. We will realize that there are several things to attend to other than stammering. Slowly stammering will become not important. Instead of clinging on to stammering, we will release it. We will allow it to be with us without giving it any importance.

If you are comfortable when you stammer, if you develop a smile when somebody ridicules you for stammering, if you are comfortable in talking about stammering, if you are doing those things from which you were running away, then you are managing your stammering well. Does it mean that you will be cured of it after some time? No, you might still stammer, but you will be at ease with it. You will face the world and will succeed!